Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Giving Up on Love

Imagine if you can, a couple that love each other absolutely. They know it in their hearts, they feel it in their bones. Yet they are incompatible in some fundamental ways. They fight, they make each other sad, and they may even believe as many do that that love is not enough. At what point does this couple say, enough is enough? My favorite movie of all time is "The Mexican" starring Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt. They are exactly this kind of couple. At one point in the movie, Julia asks Brad this question, and Brad answers "Never". Many years ago I dated a man (as opposed to what? a fish? hehe). We disagreed more often than is healthy and grew increasingly gifted at making each other miserable. Once he excitedly begged me to watch the movie and listen to the answer to the question, when do you give up? He described it as our story. I complied and fell hard for the idea of never giving up. As it turned out, he didn't believe in what I had swallowed whole. He gave up on us some months later, but the message stayed with me; I'm still the kind of person who never ever gives up working towards having a life with the person (s) I love. What about you?


  1. You're deep huh! I work hard, and then some on my relationship with the ones I love, and then when all signs point to a dead (as opposed to dying) relationship, I walk away heartbroken.

  2. If you're not happy in a relationship, you just have to give up. It's not worth it!

  3. The funny thing is that people actually vote with their pinky and not the thumb:) What's the twi word for pinky? --
    People vote with their thumbs not pinky!!! at least since I started voting..i have never used any of my fingers except my thumb!

  4. I wish my girlfriend got the chancd to read this but we are on a break right now and not talking. We have been together for two and a half years. She is very naive to the point that it baffles her that some good people might cheat. On the other hand, probably the most trustworthy person I have ever been with, caring, nurturing but an alpha, organized, goal oriented, and independent. These are all characteristics that I adore but we cant seem to have a good time together. Its a mistery to me why we are still together and trying to make it work but somehow i am not ready to give up yet.

  5. I love your blog. I think it's a refreshing change from many of the ghanaian blogs I have read.
    The thing is, love is choice. Many times, we are not taught how to love, particulary how to communicate our needs, how to have healthy boundaries, how to respect the boundaries of others, and how to own ourself.

    Most of what we know about loving we absorbed from our immediate family of origin and from those around us. The rest comes from what hollywood and romance novels teach us. But there is an art to loving and being loved, and until we take the time to learn--really learn how to commmunicate effectively--we bump along and get ourselves hurt, we hurt those we love deeply, and we hopefully find something resembling love in the end.