The Wackiest Facebook Status Updates Coming Out of Ghana

This blog was inspired by Baaba Andam, Frederick Sowah and Yaw Mante. They shared articles or comments that made me eventually get around to writing this post. So if you read it, and enjoy it, you owe them thanks. If it makes you angry, go find and pummel them to a pulp. hehe.

Anyway, so it's about funny, wacky, silly, interesting stuff that Ghanaians write on facebook as their status messages. I've tried to categorize them because like most of my posts, it's an exercise to tease generalities out of murky, badly organised data. All of the examples are real comments written by Ghanaians on facebook. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty. hehe. Enjoy!

1. In the first category,we have people spreading information or rather, ehm shoving information down our throats. Sometimes it's news like this one: The sad story of Eric Frimpong: FROM GHANA TO A SANTA BARBARA JAIL http://tr.im/Aqrf.
And other times it's the bloggers. God, Ghanaian bloggers have become so predictable on facebook, it's sickening. First there's Esi whose status message leads up to her blog at least 80% of the time. Then there's Boakyewa Glover, Emmanuel Bensah, David Ajao, and others. Seriously, these people need to relax and enjoy facebook. Note to self. Nope, I do not want to check out the most memorable Ghana ads of all time, thank you very much. haha.


2.Second on the list is the Ogyacious people. Tryna show how in the spirit they all are, their status messages are like so:

a) I'm too blessed to be stressed

For real? Too blessed to be stressed? What does that even mean? So the rest of us who are stressed are not blessed?
Or what? Eish.

b) Do it Lord, we are praying, that Your glory may be seen

c)FOR GOD soo LOVED de world(of human beings) dat HE gave HIS only SON (JESUS),
dat WHOSOEVER(anybody, anywher) BELIEVES in HIM shd NOT PERISH bt hav ETERNAL life"- JOHN 3:16
d) For u O Lord have always been ma help and i've come to believe and know that they that call upon u will never be forsaken for thou art a Mighty God and there is none like.
Jehovah u are the Most high.

3. Next,we have the creative and pseudo-creative people.You know, many work work in ad agencies. Origin 8-Saatchi and Saatchi,McCann, MMRS-Ogilvy, Publicis...whatever. They're always trying to show how creative they are.Me my deal is, if u have to try so hard to show you're creative, you're probably not. Here are 2 examples that I got from that camp on facebook Friday and today.I'm probably going to get into trouble for citing these examples, but what the hell, sue me (Yes, Golda)!


Examples
a)The moral of goldilocks & the 3 bears: its okay to break into someones house, vandalise it & eat their food as long as youre fast enough to evade capture. hansel & gretel, its okay to eat someones house. trick old ladies & if they try... to punish you its okay to kill them. cinderella..its okay to disobey your guardian & sneak out to consort with boys.& you wonder why my generation is so disrespectful & violent.

Another one

b) eons ago, man was askd the 1st geography question 'adam where are you?' he failed, saying 'i am naked'.
eons later men are drivin blind clueless to where we're goin with no intention 2 ask 4 directions & our female passen...gers have the nerve 2 ask why we suck so bad @ navigation its all your freakin fault.nickin apples when God already gave us pcs.we couldv googled good & evil but no.you just had to see for urself.smh

Seriously? Goldilocks what? lol. Charlie, abaa gbe wo eh!

4. And how can we forget the Ghanaians abroad! Status updates from Ghanaians tend to show that they miss Ghana or are looking to come back home...Oddly, these status messages only appear for people who are only coming home to visit.Those who are coming for good rarely announce their departureon facebook. No fond thoughts of banku, of Ghana heat, or tro-tros. Nope. These are reserved for those coming to visit.

Examples
a) Accra, here I come.
b) ahwww i am missing Ghana ooooooo!!!!!!!
c) The countdown is on

5. Yeah, then there are the football fans. Always raving about the english premiere league. Never about Eleven Wise or Kpando Heart of Lions. Always you'll get messages
like:

a) Chelsea! We're about to do it again. 10-7 in the last five years.

Really? You and who about to do what again? People, get a grip. haha!


6. Last but not least we have those who have recently been admitted to top level schools in the UK or US.Or who have graduated from these same schools and somehow can't get over the fact that they went to these schools. Their messages go like I miss Yale-Harvard games. Yeah right. Get over it, son. And do something that might actually make us pay you some heed. Oh here's another good one:Where can I find UWC gear to buy? The online store on the school's site has disappeared...ahem! Nuff said. lol. It's okay. We know. We know you went to UWC. So let it go, son. let it go. That one was actually written by one of my bestest friends.

NB: If any of these sounds eerily like something you would say, you're in the right place. This is about all of us. I see myself in #1. Maybe you see yourself in #3 or #5 and that's okay. Afterall, i'm making fun of what Ghanaians write on facebook. Have a laugh at yourself.

And if I forgot anything, please please feel free to add it in the comments section. Can you think of any more themes that Ghanaians like to write about on facebook. God is certainly one of the big ones. Feel free to share if you stumble upon any good ones. Do they make you laugh? Do they make you angry, or just feel like an insider because you'd be able to tell that a Ghanaian wrote it even if you didn't know the writers?

If you disagree with me, don't just sit there, don't just go home with your tail between your legs, don't just whine...do something! Come up with your own list, and share it with us right here on Wo Se Ekyir.

Share it with your friends, have a laugh, and share whatever you find with us. All you have to do is check on facebook to either prove me right or shut me up!