One Blunder A Ghanaian Must Never Ever Commit - And Other Cultures Could Learn From Us.

On this blog we talk a lot about the things Ghanaians do. We've gone through everything from Ghanaian insults, to church songs, through jama songs, and Ghanaian advertising, to the characters we find in our churches, to the way we decorate our living rooms, and even the way our men sometimes lie about having slept with a girl. Great, fun, funny stuff.


But what we haven't done so much of, is talk about the things we don't do.  Yet the things  we don't do because we're Ghanaians is a part of our culture too. Today, I'd like us to look at one of the things Ghanaians don't do.

Ghanaians do not announce, in detail, especially to friends, new found wealth or good fortune of any kind.  If your Mamma never told you this, I'm telling you now. We don't do this.

Why?

It's not because people would come for assistance from you. Though they probably would. 

 

But we don't do this because ɛho nhia. (It is not necessary) There is seldom a good reason to share this information. All it ever does is make the listening friend malcontent. It is not that your friends do not wish you well. They do but they wish well for themselves too, and so anytime you talk specifically about your good fortune, we wonder about ourselves. It is human nature.

We don't do this, because we consider how that might make the listening friend feel. It's not always about us. And especially when we have, it's not the time to rob another of their contentment.

Personally, I never ask my friends how much they make. As long as  my friend has accepted a job and is happy with it, how does it profit me to ask how much she makes? So that if it is higher than what I make, then I would suddenly be discontent ? And if it is less, then what? I also divulge how much I make and sully my friend's celebratory moment? 

A friend told me how when they were in secondary school, there was this girl who always did so well on tests, yet whenever they'd come out of a test, and the rest of the class was complaining, she'd never respond in a way that showed she'd actually found the test rather too koko (easy).

I feel her.


Because afterall, what would it achieve?









Ladies, for this same reason, I ask you, is it at all necessary to ask a newly engaged woman how much her ring cost, or whether it has diamonds, or gold? So what if it's glass? Then what? And if it is diamond, then you'll discuss what carat and then what? Is there ever a good motive for demanding this amount of detail? And if you're the one who got engaged and you got a whatever carat, enjoy it, but is it necessary to tell your friends how much the ring cost, and that it's xxx carat gold? For what? To make yourself feel better?  Because despite all that you claim to have, you need to have this petty conversation to feel good?

Now if you have money or wealth and you want to talk about it, of course you could find friends who're also wealthy and then there wouldn't be a problem right?

Right?

Wrong.

It never quite works out that way because no two people will ever have equal everything. Even if you both  have two houses, if you start talking about your houses in detail. It eventually becomes , if you'll excuse my language, a dick measuring contest. And what, if I may ask is the bloody point of that?

See, there's nothing wrong with having. Whether it is money, some other kind of wealth or property. But regardless of what you see in the media, get it clear in your head that what we have is very separate from what/who we are. And when you put down somebody in your overzealousness to showcase what you have, you make it all to apparent you aren't much. What we have includes the privilege to attend schools of high repute. The privilege to have parents who are known, the people who love us, the jobs we have, the places we live, our minds and our beauty. But never forget, that is not who you are. 

If you don't know who  you are, you have to go in search of yourself. But in the meantime, here's a little tip on how a Ghanaian responds in certain situations. As you'll see, with the Ghanaian way, there's  no need to get into the details. So for all y'all who don't know how to live life Ghana style, listen up. Here's how to do it.

When someone asks you, abrabo'm te sɛn? (How is life) The most suitable responses are Nyame adom (By God's grace) or Ye de de mu saa (we're carrying on). Or if they want to be funny, they'll respond, "ete sɛ wo suban" (it's like your character).

Point being...when someone asks you how things are, even if you just won the jackpot, you respond in the manner I've just described. It is never appropriate in a conversation with your friend to tell people how now you have a nice cushy job, and they pay you this much, and this much, and you have so much stashed away. It is not. We don't do this in Ghana. Just saying...,'cos maybe your mamma never told you this one.

What are your thoughts? Do you ever feel tempted to share aspects of your life to make a point? How do you respond to this urge? Does it really make you feel better to show in some way that you're better? Ever?